Like Good Butta by Glenn Gray


by Glenn Gray

Now this is friggin good butta.

The hell kind is it?

Fuck do I know? Just got these bagels with butta.

Wow. It is pretty good. All creamy and shit.

This here’s real godamn grade A butta.

Good shit. You ever go to that bagel place over on Larkfield?


They got good butta.

Butta there’s okay. But this - this is good, no great, butta.

Nothing like good butta.

Like a dream.

On a good bagel.

Or just friggin nice rye toast. Ya know? Burned up like charcoal.

If the butta sucks, ruins the whole fachima thing.

Could eat good butta right outta the containa.

With a spoon.

Big fat gobs.

With a damn ladle.

Got that right.


So what you got?

Did that job.

Took care a that cocksucka?

Yeah. Just like you asked.


Last night.

He say anything?

Yeah. Said, what the fuck?

What the fuck?

Yeah. I tell em, the Big Guy sent me, and I swear there’s some piss stain forming on his drawers, and he stands there looking like a dope. Just says: What the fuck.

Stupid bastid.

Like he just learned to talk. Lip twitching and all. Hate that shit.

And pissed his pants.

Like a baby.

Standing there like a moron.

All wet in front.

Say anything else?

Just, what the fuck.

That it?


Never said he fucked up?

Nah. Just, what the fuck.

You give him time to think?


What about the money.

Was right in the bathroom.

Real genius.

Behind the shower curtain.


Same suitcase.

And the other shit?

Right there next to it.

Never had any brains.

It’s all done, nice.

Easy job, then. Good boy.


Like good butta.

Betta than butta.

Gimme some more a that shit, will ya?

BIO: Glenn Gray’s got a story in OOTG 6. He’s got other crap in TKnC, Twist
of Noir, Dogzplot, BTAP, Powder Burn, Underground Voices, Long Story Short and
many others.


Bruce Harris said...

Glenn, A hard-boiled story about butter? I never thought it possible. But, you pulled it off! I can picture these two and can almost hear these guys actually having this conversation.

Rey A. Gonzalez said...

I'd kill a man if he told me it really wasn't butta.

Dhmagman said...

I have heard this conversation before..Very Funny
I need more from these two BUTTA HEADS!!!How about the two of them having some sausage and peppa's...

Christopher Pimental said...

Fun stuff, Glenn.

Robert said...

Reads like butta. Love the pace of this piece -- and the voices of course.

Paul D. Brazill said...

Brilliant piece of work.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had to get that story off your chest! Nothing like good BUTTA! Next time would love to hear a conversation bout coldcuts.

Charlieopera said...

GREAT Stuff ...