The Payoff by Dana C. Kabel

“Are you scared?”


“Didn’t ask if you could breath. Asked if you were scared.”


“Please what?”

-Told you…can’t breathe…please-

“You can still breathe enough to talk…for now. Are you feeling the panic?”

-Oh God!-

“I’m not your god, you piece of filth. Do you want me to loosen the rope?”


“Then beg. Beg me to do it!”

-Please loosen…the rope-

“No. I don’t think I will. I know the pain really gives you pleasure.”

-Doesn’t…feel…good anymore-

“Hmmm, I guess we should have set up a safety word first. As it is now, I don’t really know if you’re truly suffering, or if you’re acting out the game."


“I don’t know if I believe you. I mean, part of this type of game would be your begging for life and even your insistence that this is not in fact a game at all.”


“As exciting as this all is, being my first experience and all, I don’t really know how far I can push it.”


“As far as I know, you’re supposed to go right to the brink before the release and then the payoff is extraordinary. The orgasm is supposed to be just out of this world.”

-Not…going…t…to make…it…-

“Hold on baby, just hold on now. We’re almost there…”

-….. …. … .. .-


Two days later…

“What have we got?”

“What does it look like? Another damned freak in his closet with a rope around his neck and his dick in his hand.”

“Auto-erotic asphyxiation. I hope he didn’t have any family. They always want to have a murder investigation opened because their dead jerk off relative couldn’t have possibly been into this kind of sick shit.”

"Makes you wonder what goes through their friggin heads before they go.”

“Yeah. Look, no semen. This one didn’t even get the payoff.”

Dana C. Kabel is a home builder and martial arts instructor who
has always pursued his lifelong passion for writing. His stories have appeared
in Muzzleflash, The Flash Fiction Offensive, Powder Flash Burn, Yellow
, and Out of the Gutter.


Bruce Harris said...

Tough way to go!

Matt Arnold said...

Good diversion and twist. I'll admit to reading it as though it was two people, even w/ the use of quotation marks around only one dialogue. The other being inner dialogue didn't occur to me until the last part. Well done. Homage to David Carradine?

Bill Baber said...

wow! really liked this...

Rey A. Gonzalez said...

Auto-erotic asphyxia has always freaked me out. I jerk off the old fashioned way, the way my grandaddy did and his grandaddy before him -- the way that made America great.

Brad Carroll said...

I agree with Matt, really nice use of inner&outer dialogue, good use of ppoint of view.

Rey, it's not jerking-off that made America great. What made America great is whisky, tobacco, and hookers!

Dana Kabel said...

I prefer to think that Mr. Carradine died from the five finger death punch.

Christopher Pimental said...

No payoff for him. How sad. Funny voice on the partner.