Butch and Ed's Night Out by Kevin Atherton

Butch and Ed watched her turn into the alley. Ed rubbed the crotch of his filthy blue jeans, grunted, and made loud whistling noises through his nostrils. Butch was quiet and his eyes were riveted on the girl —it was perfect.

Butch said, “Quit doin’ that. You sound like a hog goin’ through a bucket of slop.”

Ed replied, “Can’t help it. We gonna do her now?”

“Yeah, just quit breathin’ in my fuckin’ ear, and remember, we’re gonna kill her first.”

Ed frowned and said, “Crap, I ain’t never had a live one —must be somethin’ with ‘em squirmin’ under you like them girls on the video.”

“Just shut up and follow me.”

Butch crept silently behind her. Ed mimicked his movement and wondered how a man with hands the size of hubcaps, gorilla feet, and a forty inch waistline could move with so little noise.

He’s like Frankenstein with ballet lessons.

The girl had no chance when Butch grabbed her from behind. He whispered in her ear, put a knee against her back, and snapped her neck with one quick jerk. He threw her over his shoulder and ran to the entrance of an abandoned warehouse. When Ed caught up to him, Butch had ripped off her clothing and was getting into position.

Ed said, “What was you whisperin’ to her? You tell her you was gonna teach her a lesson?”

Butch said, “I ain’t teachin’ her anything you moron —she’s dead. Just told her I was gonna ass-fuck her. I wanted her to know.”

He flopped the body on a bench and forced his way in. Her head banged against the wall causing the tongue to loll out. It looked like barbequed liver after the teeth punctured it a couple times.

Butch said, “You standin’ there gawkin’ at me is just plain creepy. Go on now; you can have her when I’m done.”

Ed knew better than to piss off Butch. He went down that road before and wound up losing most of his teeth. Watching was his favorite thing and bein’ told to scram depressed him. He looked like a kid who had his sucker stuck in a dog turd by the neighborhood bully. Then he walked down the hall and saw it. A jagged hole in the wall drew him near, and when he looked through, he couldn’t believe his good luck. There was Butch, not five feet away, and he was really puttin’ it to her. His dick was lubricated with shit and blood —slidin’ in and out like he’d never stop.

Ed unzipped himself and whacked off to the same rhythm that Butch was employing. They were in sync and Ed felt the juices flowin’ just fine. In his mind he chanted over and over what he thought sounded poetic and it made his balls sizzle like ants under a magnifying glass.

Brown and red, brown and red —No big deal you won’t give head.

Ed convulsed, collapsed on the floor, and drifted off to sleep. Didn’t last long and the whiskey he drank was a fleeting buzz as the meth grabbed hold of him again. He sat up and listened to Butch grunt awhile, then decided to get wired up good and proper.

Dark, red blood flooded the syringe as he pulled back the plunger, letting it mix with the dope. Ed pushed on it slowly and felt the buzz increase in quarter-inch increments. Jet engines blasted in his chest and the universe screamed in his ears. He’d done all the dope that was left and damn, would Butch be pissed. He sat there listening to Butch’s animal noises and decided he didn’t give a shit.

Who the fuck’s he think he is? Sounds like a goddamned baboon and he shouldn’ta killed her either. Her and me coulda had a nice talk after I did her a few times, then I coulda killed her nice and slow like she deserved.

Ed’s eyes glowed like traffic lights and his dick shriveled up to a quarter of its former size. With the amount of speed he’d shot up, sex was a million miles away. He did have a bone to pick with old Butch though. Maybe he’d just shoot his pecker off. His hands shook as he pulled out the pistol, but it was not out of fear. He was ready.

Butch never saw it coming. All he knew was his good thing had been interrupted and somehow replaced with a bloody red stump. Then he saw Ed with the gun. The little bastard was grinning like a shit-eatin’ mongrel at a fertilizer plant. Butch howled and hurled his three hundred pound mass as blood spurted out his stump.

By this time, Ed was beginning to hallucinate and Butch looked like a rhinoceros pissin’ red and thundering in his direction. He had the presence of mind to empty his gun on the animal, but no longer knew the where or whys of the situation. Didn’t matter though because the rhino was down and that left the girl lying on the ground. Ed got right down next to her and whispered in her ear. The hallucinations were vivid colors of shit sprouting out of her ears. No big deal though. He knew how to treat a lady and the night was still young.

Kevin Atherton will write for food or beer. He lives in Mahomet Illinois
with his wife and three mangy mutts.